Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2000 17:11:09 EST

At the age of 26..so innocent as to the future I was about to enter in to.

In 1986 I had bilateral mastectomies done, with immediate tissue expanders put in. The pain was really bad and I developed a abscess behind my left expander...so the expanders were removed and my doctor cleaned me out again and inserted my first set of silicone implants. Well, I loved them at first, but my left implant started coming out through the skin. Back to the operating table again for my second set of implants ... one year later, the left side did the same thing. Throughout the years I have had multiple tumor removals, pre-cancers, but not my original DX ... so I have been blessed in that department.

My third set of implants were polyurethane covered silicone(...looked like a fine carpet stuck on the implant....)to prevent them from shifting around and causing thinning of the skin. Well, for a year I thought I had finally received the right implant and I was pretty happy even though by this time I was riddled with scar tissue and advil, naprosyn, percodan, etc... was( is at times) my middle name. BUT at the year and a half mark, my left breast became hard as a rock.

The surgeon tried "popping" the shell around the implant by pushing on it with mega force, and after he did that several times, the pain was more than I could handle and I had developed a small hemorrhage behind the implant then finally the implant ruptured. The left one was removed, and 3 months later I opted to have the right removed as well.I am left very disfigured and have multiple health issues at the present time....Depression being the #1 culprit. I have been diagnosed with mixed connective tissue disease, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and mild lupus.

My immune system is really weak so I have to be careful and stay away from viruses, etc.

My last surgery to remove another Benign mass was 6 weeks ago...he tried to "fix" a fist sized hole I have in my left chest but it is now sinking in again. I know, as I look back now, that I was really ignorant that I trusted my doctor more than I trusted my own body. .. As I said, I was so innocent as to my medical future. I do wonder at times if my surgeon knew about the side effects of these implants. Was he as in the dark as I was? I was not warned that I would end up being ill. I will turn 40 in April, and I dislike my body tremendously and I have let this ruin my quality of life as I see it. I don't think anyone can understand why I say that, unless you have indeed walked in my shoes.

Cynthia/Texas