A Cowboy's Guide To Life

Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 21:17:21 -0500

From: "Ruby Bartlett"

A Cowboy's Guide To Life

by Texas Bix Bender

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

Don't worry about biting' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger than you think.

If you get to thinking' you're a person of some influence, try ordering' somebody else's dog around.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral:

When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging'.

Never smack a man who's chewing' tobacco.

Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

Letting' the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier 'n putting' it back.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.