Health Tips for Men

1. Winter is here, and it is well known that humidity levels drop to dangerous lows because of the heat generated by your furnace. It is important for men to raise the humidity in their homes and apartments. One easy and convenient way to do this is to make sure the toilet seat is always in the upright and fully open position. This enables the ambient air to evaporate the water in the bowl more quickly, keeping the relative humidity in your home at a safe level. Try this in the summer as well, because air-conditioning removes humidity as part of the cooling process.

2. Absorbing too much information by listening can cause your brain to switch from regulating your immune system efficiently to processing and discarding information that may be considered useless. Don't risk the consequences of this happening. When your wife/girlfriend's conversation reaches a level which you consider dangerous to your immune system, simply quit absorbing the information. In order to spare her feelings, while protecting yourself from disease, simply say, every now and then, "yes dear," "uh huh," or "certainly."

3. There are many low level infections passing through the air during the winter months. The best way to combat these is with a good disinfectant. Everyone knows that alcohol provides a convenient source of disinfectant, and is generally available in handy twelve ounce containers called "beer." Be sure to consume at least six before bedtime in order to combat as many germs as you can.

4. Exercise is important. Doctors have determined that the combined actions of walking, swinging your arms, and lifting your elbow will provide the best aerobic activity for the modern male. This can most easily be accomplished by spending an entire weekend on the golf course. Encourage your friends to join you to better their own health. This should be combined with number 3 above. This will also provide protection against some of the most common injuries encountered by men, such as breathing paint fumes or garage dust, often reported in cases of helping around the house.

5. Medical science has long known that exposure to germs carried by strangers is more likely to cause disease. Thus it is imperative, when you are driving in a strange locale, that you never ask a stranger for directions. To do so would imperil the health of not only yourself but your family as well.

6. Clothes that have been worn are natural germ carriers. It is well known that assembling all of these germ laden fabrics together in that den of disease commonly known as a "clothes hamper" will only worsen the problem. Therefore, the Men's Corner health advisors strongly recommend leaving the clothes where they fall when disrobing. Your family will thank you.

7. Tests have been carried out on the average food-filled refrigerator, and show that perishable foodstuffs are harbingers of the worst types of bacteria and parasites. It is important for the modern male to forego putting perishable food into his refrigerator. Instead, a low level disinfectant, such as the alcohol found in beer, is a better choice for keeping that refrigerator safe. Ketchup, I am happy to say, is also known to be safe over the long term.

8. The light emitted from a television picture tube is threatening only if there is a long, unbroken period of viewing the same image. Thus it is absolutely essential that those images change as often as possible. Practice sitting in front of the television with the remote and flipping through the channels as rapidly as possible. I know this may be difficult, but with practice, you will be on your way to better health.

9. Doctors have long warned us that overexertion stresses the vulnerable male heart. Tests have shown that combining stressful activities in an unbroken series is extremely dangerous. Thus, it is essential that the health conscious male, after a strenuous sexual encounter, immediately fall asleep in order to prevent a potential life-threatening occurrence.

AA5BA24FB1A0F63612CF84FD--