I am a 44 year old female. I'm married, with 3 children: a daughter 28, son 18 and daughter 6. I had not planned the last one but she was the miracle that made them finally listen.

I was self-employed as a seamstress and decorator, and had been in business for 10 years when I was diagnosed. I had 11 employees. And through all of this I had to sell the business and I am totally disabled now.

I was diagnosed with PSS (Progressive Systemic Sclerosis) in August of 1993, after 5 years of non-diagnosis, 28 doctors, and millions of painful tests.

I finally got to the point that I could not go up and down stairs, and I couldn't walk ten feet without having to sit down. My right foot looked like it was broken one morning when I got up; it was black and was twice the size it should have been.

When I got to the doctor he said that it had to be broken, but the X-ray revealed that it wasn't. So finally they did an arthritis work-up and it was positive for lupus. Well, at that time I would not go to a rheumatologist after reading what would happen, because I was pregnant with my six-year-old daughter and I wouldn't risk losing her or hurting her with all of the harmful drugs. So needless to say it was a pretty rough pregnancy.

I was basically on my back for the last six weeks of my pregnancy. Then she was born by C-section three weeks early. Only 5 lb, 6 oz, 17½" long. But thank God she was healthy. Then from there on it was downhill for two years, with six surgeries and too many close calls.

I had silicone breast implants in July 1986, and documented symptoms in July 1987. So without a doubt mine was activated by the silicone. Two years before I had the silicone removed I knew that my problems were from the implants. My breast hurt so bad all the time that I couldn't stand it. So in July of 1993, I decided to have the silicone removed and saline implanted, but little did I know, with scleroderma you can't have anything foreign in your body. So here I go again with another surgery.

One thing that kills me about trying to be diagnosed, they all say that it's in your mind. That came in out of the blue. One rheumy said that I wanted to be sicker than I was. Boy was that a hoot. That was on a Thursday and I was in the hospital on Sunday with my gallbladder shut down, hepatitis, pancreatitis, malnourished, dehydrated, and the list goes on. My gallbladder had shut down completely and everything else was on it's way. That was the last time I saw that doctor.

It was up and down with doctors for years and now I have a female rheumy and she is great! She specializes in scleroderma, lupus, RH and the immune system. She is in Atlanta.

My group is the Hope for Life Family to Benefit Scleroderma Research. Our fund raiser is the Ricky Clark Memorial Celebrity/Amateur Golf Tournament in Georgia. This year will be our third tournament.

Ricky was a male, my same age. We were both born and raised in Calhoun, Georgia, and went to school together. We were diagnosed two weeks apart in August 1993. Ricky died in October 1993.

Ricky worked in silicone dust for ten years. So without a doubt silicone is one of the chemicals that activates the gene that causes scleroderma. Another thing I've noticed is that every scleroderma patient that I have talked to has been a workaholic.

I don't feel that my illness is a terrible thing. I feel like it is just a valley that I can climb out of when it is time. I am halfway there now! Since I've been so close to death so many times in the past few years, now I don't mind the pain and inconveniences. If it weren't for God, none of this would be possible.

12-5-00 I am doing great and am off all prescription drugs; I'm just using them on an as-needed basis. I have done extensive body cleansing and detoxification with herbs and homeopathy medicine.

I started the "eat right for your blood type" program ten weeks ago, along with kidney cleansing. I am working on healing my body with prayer, herbs and exercise.

We are still having the golf tournament. We just had our 4th Annual Ricky Clark Memorial Celebrity/Amateur golf Tournament to benefit the Scleroderma Research Center on Saturday, November 4th, 2000, and raised over $40,000. The golf tournament is always held annually on the first Saturday in November, to make it easy to remember.

If you'd like to join us in our fight to find the cure, by donating, joining the golf tournament, or by holding a fundraiser in your town, just let me know.